How NOT to become
10x Greater than Yogi Bhajan
In 13 Easy Steps!
Yogi Bhajan used to challenge us, his students, to become ten times greater than himself. Taking him seriously, I thought I should emulate his discipline and learn about his roots in the Sikh tradition. Over the years, I found that not everyone took our teacher so seriously. Here is my light‐hearted response to the dubious.
1) Do not practice morning sadhana, or if there is group pressure to do it, do as little as you can get away with. Five group sadhanas should get you a teacher's certificate, if that's what you are after. Better leave it at that.
2) Yogi Bhajan had a huge, magnanimous heart and spent his life caring for others. Don't take that path.
3) Hair grown to its natural length and tied in a knot at the top of the head encourages the raising of the kundalini. To lessen this possibility: cut, trim, or shave your hair off altogether. If you are a man, yours is a special case: take care to never let your beard grow to its natural length. This will help avoid the obvious embarrassment of ever being mistaken for Yogi Bhajan.
4) Let certifications and titles be your charisma, rather than your dynamic human decency, humour, and charm.
5) Never request a spiritual name. If somehow you should receive one, keep it in a drawer with your socks and use it only rarely. Don't even think of legally adopting a spiritual name. This can create all kinds of problems. Relatives and friends will want to know where you are going with your life and this
could raise all kinds of uncomfortable questions. Just be normal or pretend to be normal, and don't rock the boat. What do you want to make enemies for? Settle down and live by everybody else's expectations, more or less.
6) Dress for cover. Wear what everybody else is wearing and make a real effort to look nondescript. This is very important. And never wear a turban under any circumstances. It will distinguish you and make you look special, which is about the last thing you would want.
7) Do not learn Gurmukhi, the Guru's language. Yogi Bhajan said just reciting it properly can make you divine.
8) Say “I don't know.” a lot. This practice creates a widening gap between the You in you that knows and the you that doesn't, if that's what you want.
9) Blame everybody for everything.
10) If you have a member of the opposite gender in your life, be sure and abuse them regularly. You can mentally or physically abuse them, or just withdraw your attention and let them twist in the wind. If you do not have anyone meaningful in your life, you can just engage in casual sexual encounters. This is sure to make you spiritually dull.
11) Never quote Yogi Bhajan. Do not tell others about his life, his wisdom or his contributions to your life. Or alternatively, lean entirely on his spiritual authority and never, ever on your own.
12) Have a little wine now and then, with meals or whatever.
13) Read lots and practice little. Be careful, however. Even a little Kundalini Yoga can cause big changes in your life. Therefore you should do absolutely as little Kundalini Yoga as possible.
Author: Singh Sahib Guru Fatha Singh Khalsa
First published: 2009
First published: 2009